Stop Putting Yourself Last

Let me ask you something.

How many times have you told yourself that you’ll finally do something for YOU once everybody else is taken care of?

When the kids graduate.

When the bills are paid.

When your husband gets settled.

When life slows down.

And then one morning you wake up, look in the mirror, and wonder what happened to the woman who had all those dreams.

Girl, we need to talk.

During Day 2 of my 6 AM Check-In, I talked about something I believe every woman over 40 needs to hear.

You have got to stop putting yourself last.

Not next year. Not when everything is perfect. NOW.

1. Being Selfish Might Be Exactly What You Need

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being a good mother, wife, daughter, or friend meant sacrificing ourselves.

We became so good at showing up for everybody else that we forgot how to show up for ourselves.

And here’s what I want you to consider.

What happens when the children are grown, the responsibilities change, and the people you’ve spent your life caring for no longer need you in the same way?

Who are you outside of those roles?

You are allowed to have dreams that belong to you.

You are allowed to want more money, more freedom, better health, new experiences, and a completely different life.

And you don’t need permission to pursue any of it.

2. Your Biggest Obstacle Might Be Your Identity

One of the most important things I discussed this morning was identity.

Sometimes the reason we haven’t accomplished something has very little to do with our resources.

It’s how we see ourselves.

You can have access to information, opportunities, and people who can help you. But if you continue identifying as the woman who can’t do something, you’ll keep making decisions from that place.

Want to become financially independent?

Start examining how a financially independent woman thinks and makes decisions.

Want to become healthier?

Start identifying as a woman who prioritizes her health.

Want to build a business?

Begin treating yourself like the business owner you’re becoming.

The shift begins when your daily decisions start matching your desired identity.

3. Change Your Environment, Change Your Expectations

Let’s talk about the rooms you’re spending time in.

If you want to build wealth, how often are you around people who are building wealth?

If you want to improve your health, are you spending time in environments where taking care of yourself is normal?

If you want to become a successful entrepreneur, are you having conversations with people who understand entrepreneurship?

Your environment influences what you believe is possible.

Sometimes your next level requires a different room, different conversations, and a willingness to become uncomfortable.

You don’t have to abandon the people you love.

But you may need to expand your circle.

4. The Avatar Strategy: Become Her Before You See Her

Now, let me tell you about something I’ve been practicing myself.

I call it my Avatar Strategy.

Instead of focusing only on what I want to accomplish, I create a visual representation of the woman I intend to become.

And I’m specific about her.

Months ago, I created an avatar of myself looking fit, healthy, and strong. I’m talking six-pack abs and defined arms.

I wasn’t just thinking about losing weight. I was thinking about becoming the woman who naturally lives that lifestyle.

I keep that image where I can see it on my phone, iPad, and computer.

Why?

Because I want to remind myself of the identity I’m building.

Let Me Give You a Real Example

Recently, I returned from a trip where I hadn’t been taking care of myself the way I normally would.

I wasn’t eating the way I wanted to eat, and by the time I returned, I’d gained 12 pounds.

I could feel the difference in my body.

But here’s what I didn’t do.

I didn’t decide that everything I’d worked toward was ruined.

I went back to the vision I’d already created.

I looked at my avatar.

I reminded myself of the woman I was becoming.

And I started making decisions that aligned with her again.

I returned to my healthier eating habits, peptides, and my gym routine. I subsequently lost 11 of those pounds.

Now, the avatar didn’t magically make the weight disappear. My actions mattered.

The image helped me reconnect with the identity that motivated those actions.

And that’s the lesson.

Stop Asking Only What You Want. Ask Who You Need to Become.

If you want to build wealth, don’t just visualize the money.

Visualize the woman who knows how to manage it, invest it, and protect it.

If you want to become healthier, don’t just imagine a smaller number on the scale.

Imagine the woman who prioritizes movement, nutrition, and her well-being.

If you want to become an entrepreneur, don’t just picture the business.

Picture the woman who confidently makes decisions, solves problems, and takes action.

Then start practicing those behaviors.

Create Your Own Future-Self Avatar

Here’s your assignment:

1. Define her. Write down who you’re becoming, not just what you want to own.
2. Visualize her. Create an image that represents that version of you.
3. Keep her visible. Put the image on your phone, tablet, or computer.
4. Enter her environment. Spend time around people already practicing the habits you want to develop.
5. Act like her today. Choose one decision that moves you closer to that identity.

You don’t have to wait until everything changes to begin seeing yourself differently.

Start becoming her now.

Because the woman you’re becoming is shaped by what you repeatedly choose to do today.

Your Next Chapter Starts With You

At this stage of life, I want women to understand something.

You don’t have to spend the next 20 years living according to decisions you made 20 years ago.

You’re allowed to change your mind.

You’re allowed to develop new interests.

You’re allowed to build something completely different.

And you’re absolutely allowed to put yourself on your own priority list.

Because the life you want will require your participation.

Not just your dreams.

Your decisions.

Your habits.

Your environment.

Your identity.

So today, I want you to ask yourself one question:

If I stopped putting myself last, what would I do differently starting today?

Don’t just think about it.

Act on it.

Watch the Conversation

This article was inspired by Day 2 of my 6 AM Check-In with Dr. TMac.

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